Time Dilation

by Governer Shreds

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Desperately lonely nerd rock about Eve Online with strong homoerotic undertones.

Eve Online is Copyright CCP


released February 3, 2017

Denny Wright
Zane McDaniel
Justice McDaniel
Marshall Wright
Micah Korson



all rights reserved


Governer Shreds Boston, Massachusetts

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Track Name: Eve Is Real
There's a world that's inside my front door
It doesn't care what I look like, or mind that I'm so poor
I'm never judged or made to feel inadequate
Hang on baby, I'll just play for a little bit

Don't turn the lights off
Don't stay with me tonight
You know I love you
But it wouldn't be right
You can't hold a candle
To the way it makes me feel
So I'll tell you now that Eve is real

Lifting me up with skillpoints and faction standings
My ISK per hour gives meaning to my life
In here you can be anything you'd ever want to be
As long as you want to be a spaceship

I've been thinking for a long time
That tonight will be the last time
I've finally made up my mind
So it's time for us to say goodbye
It ain't gonna work
I don't wanna try
My spaceships love me
So thank you for your time
Track Name: Blood in the Belt
You live you life oblivious and dumb
There's danger lurking and I will show you what I am
I prey on tears, I feed on hope
I mine the miners 'cause mining's a joke

Blood in the belt
You can't run away
Blood in the belt
It's not safe to play
Blood in the belt
You won't be okay
So be afraid

My guns are loaded with eight rounds void
I'll die to kill you and I am overjoyed
My hate preheated, I warp to you
No pods escape when I do what I do
Track Name: Get Out of my Hole
So I finally found the hole I'm looking for
And we moved on in, crammed ten million tons or more
My hole is very lucrative, there's no ship I can't afford
But everything on D-scan is a threat I can't ignore

Get out of my hole
I saw you going in
Now your end just might begin
We've shoved fifteen towers in here
And you'll never take control
So won't you get the hell out of my hole?

My hole's defended by some very angry men
They've marked their territory and we just can't pretend
That you could've come here with the intent of being friends
I've got enough men in here so one more time I'll ask again

My hole is bountiful
My hole is never ending
It showers me with ISK
That I'm forever spending
All the hate
All the fear
In my hole
With me here
In this hole I'll live forevermore
Track Name: My Solo Rhea
Your spaceship has a jump drive
But you're taking it through gates
The space is high security
But you're making a mistake
You don't need no exit cyno
In your freighter all alone
You're space truckin' it to Jita
But tonight we'll send you home

My solo Rhea
I'm with you till the end
Our catalysts are coming
I'm gonna bumb again
My solo Rhea
I think you're my best friend
I'll stay with you forever
Until we find your end

Eight hundred off the gate
Just you and me together
So much ISK you're hauling
But I could spend it better
There is no safer option
No making second trips
Ten billion ISK of Veldspar
You're making this a cinch

I see the blackbirds and the logi all around you
I know what you're thinking but they can't save you
They can't save you

My solo Rhea
Our time is at an end
We have to say goodbye now
Track Name: I Wish This Game Was Fun
Wednesday morning, 1 am
I'm waiting for a bridge on this titan again
'Just one more system'
Our bait again informs
I don't remember why I do this anymore

Oh, I wish this game was fun
We've been sitting here for hours
And I can't be the only one
Who would rather be outside
Or rubbing sawdust into my gums
Oh, I wish this game was fun

Sitting in the station, I watch my spin count rise
Can't even be in space 'cause we're afraid of hostile eyes
What does it take for us to get a fight?
This massively multiplayer doesn't sound quite right

I wish this game was anything but reading spreadsheets
Anything but using teamspeak
I don't think I'm being so unreasonable
But I keep on coming back...
Track Name: Crash the Gate
So you're traveling alone
Point your ship and there it goes
'Till the numbers come up zero zero
It's the first time you'll fly
To a place where you can die
You're jumping blind and it's too late
You jump in, bubble up
My fleet doesn't give a fuck
Who you are or why you're here

Crash the gate
You're too stupid to be bait
In that little ship all on your own
If you like to survive
You can make it out alive
Crash the gate, oh crash the gate

I've got two weeks of skills
And all the pirates I can kill
Now it's time for me to take the fight
To the pirates who prey on my empire and its space
I am your here, I'll make things right
Hit the gate, I jump through
There is nothing I can do
Why can't I warp away?

We've been waiting for a long time
In this god-forsaken pipeline
So nice of you to stop on by
You're fit too poorly to fight us
Why'd you even bring an Ibis
I just hope that you don't think to...
Track Name: To Win Eve
I'm just a nerd
With a lot of time on my hands
To write these silly songs
That my own friends don't understand

I'm not a spaceman
Try as I might
Just another pretend dot
In our pretend spaceship life

I'm not that good
At keeping myself alive
In a game where no one wins
It can't hurt to say I tried

To win this game some people have to lose a super
Their butthurt so bad they smash up their computer
The victims of theft and bitter burnouts have all won too
But for me to win Eve Online, all I need is you

We're all just nerds
Clicking on boxes in space
To hear 'Warp drive active'
Is our Amazing Grace

And I'm a spaceman
I go where I please
But there's no where I like more
Than where you're all in front of me